2
Diego
“Diego, vamonos.”
I
can’t help the frustrated sigh that escapes my lips, hurled at mi padre, my dad, like a gust of wind that threatens to flatten our house of
cards. It’s my fault. I should have built something stronger with the cards I
was dealt. But I didn’t. I didn’t know how.
“Go away,” I say.
“Vete.”
I’m not planning
to attend school today.
In fact, I didn’t
plan to be in the States at all.
“Vamonos. Let’s go,” mi padre repeats in his heavily accented voice, yanking me off of
the couch. “You will not miss senior year.”
He
has this new thing where we have to speak English as much as possible now that
we live in the States. I almost wish I weren’t fluent. Several trips to
Florida, and I am.
With
a grimace, I pass him, reluctantly moving toward my room. It feels like my feet
are sinking, like I’m walking over sticky sand instead of thick, dirty carpet.
How did I get stuck in this place?
I open my dresser
drawer and pull out faded jeans, a white T-shirt, and my Smith & Wesson.
“No,”
mi padre says, grabbing the gun.
I
take a step toward him, challenging. He does not back down.
“This is why we
left,” he says.
Hypocrite. Under
his bed is a similar gun, waiting. Just in case. But he’s also the one who
taught me how to fight. I’m bigger than he is, but he has more experience. And
the scars to prove it.
Not that I haven’t
been in countless fights myself.
“Fine,”
I say through clenched teeth, and turn toward the bathroom.
The
hot water heater goes out after five minutes. The tiny two-bedroom
apartment—this hole we now call home—is the only thing mi padre could afford. It’s not much, but it’s inexpensive. That’s
all that matters. The plain white walls remind me of an asylum. Feels like I’m
going crazy already.
Our jobs keep us
afloat. They’re our life vests, our only chance of survival in a sea of
ravenous sharks. Mi padre found a job
with a lawn crew a couple weeks ago. Not many people would hire him with his
scarred face and tattooed body. A restaurant offered me work part-time. Two
shifts as a cook, one as a busboy. They promised a free meal every night that I
worked. Couldn’t pass that up.
“Don’t
be late for school or work,” mi padre
says as I step out of the house.
School’s only ten
minutes away. I walk, staring at the graffiti-covered sidewalk that stretches
in front of me like a ribbed canvas. Latinos roam the block. It didn’t take moving
to the States for me to know that’s how it is. The gringos, white people, live in nice houses and drive cars to school
while the rest of the world waits for a piece of their leftovers. I’m trying
not to think about how screwed up it all is when a Latina walks up to me.
“Hola,” she says. “¿Hablas inglés?”
“Yeah, I speak English,” I
answer, though I’m not sure why she asks since both of us speak Spanish.
“I’m Lola.” She smiles, sexy
brown eyes big and wide. She reminds me of a girl I knew back home. Just the
thought, the image of home, makes my guts clench.
“What’s your name?” she purrs.
“Lola,” a Latino calls from
across the street. She ignores him. He calls again. When she doesn’t come, he
approaches us.
One look tells me he’s angry.
He has a cocky stance and a shaved head.
“Am I interrupting something?”
he snaps.
What’s this guy’s problem?
“Yep,” Lola says, turning her
back on him. “My ex,” she explains, brushing a strand of curly hair out of her
face.
Perfecto. Just what I need. I didn’t even do anything. Not that I’m going
to explain.
“She’s mine,” the
guy says, staring me down. “¿Entiendes,
amigo?”
“I’m
not your friend,” I say, gritting my teeth. “And you do not want to mess with
me.”
Lola
is smiling. I wonder if she enjoys the attention. Probably. I’ve met too many
girls like her. She fits the type.
“You
don’t know who you’re messing with,”
he says, stepping closer.
A
few guys come out of nowhere, closing in on me. Blue and white bandanas hang
from their pockets like a bad-luck charm. I know what the colors signify. Mara
Salvatrucha 13 Gang, or MS-13.
I turn to Lola.
Watch her smile.
This
is all part of the game. What I can’t figure out is if the guy really is her ex
and she doesn’t care that she could be getting me killed, or if he sent her to
see how tough I am, to help decide whether he wants to recruit me.
I
turn to walk away, but someone blocks my path.
“Going somewhere?”
another gang-banger asks.
This
whole time I’ve wondered if I’d end up fighting at school. I hadn’t thought
about the fact that I may never make it in the first place. I silently curse mi padre for hiding my gun. He wouldn’t
get rid of it completely, though.
“What
do you want?” I ask.
The
original guy laughs, looks me up and down. The number 67 is tattooed behind his
right ear in bold black numbers. It only takes me a second to figure out the
meaning. Six plus seven equals thirteen.
“What are those
markings?” he asks, eyeing my tattoos.
“Nothing,”
I lie.
If
they wanted to fight me, they would’ve done it already. This is a recruit.
“Where
you from?” he asks.
I
don’t answer. Members of MS-13 stretch around the globe like fingers. They can
easily check my past. I’m not gonna give them a head start.
“Swallow
your tongue?” one of the guys asks.
I’m
trying to figure out if I can win a fight against the five guys who surround
me. I look for weak spots, scars, old injuries. I look for bulges that might be
weapons. I’m a good fighter. I think I can take them. But at the same time,
fighting will guarantee me a follow-up visit from MS-13.
Just
then, someone speaks behind us. “Is there a problem?” a police officer asks
from the safety of his car.
Everyone
backs away from me.
“Nope,” one of the
gangbangers answers. “We were just leaving.”
“See
you around,” 67 says, throwing an arm around Lola.
I
turn my back and walk the last block to school. The police officer trails
slowly behind, like a hungry dog sniffing for scraps. He leaves as I enter the
double doors.
I
think about what my dad said. Moving here
will give you a brighter future.
His words sit
heavily on my mind, like humidity on every pore of my skin. His intentions are
good, but he’s wrong. So far, moving here has done nothing but remind me of my
past.
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